I was sitting one day reflecting on things of my past. My relationship with my father. Past girlfriends. Things that happened to me. I was thinking of all the times I had been betrayed and then I took an even deeper look at myself and saw that I had also been a betrayer.

That was something I didn't like seeing. Yet it was the truth. That deep look into my past, and more importantly, into myself is what led to the formation of this poem. That's right, it just formed itself as I moved my pencil along.

I knew this girl all through high school. We were buds, chums, but then one day she caught my eye in a totally different way than ever before. I began to care far more than I ever did. That is where this poem came from. Sad thing is she never read it. I never got a chance to give it to her. We had a falling out just days before I was planning to give it to her. I always wondered what would have happened if I would have given her the poem sooner. I guess I will never know.

I grew up with a certain gorgeous young lady. I first met her when I was twelve. I walked into our Sunday school classroom and there she was. It was love at first sight. I tell you I fell in love with her immediately. I knew I wanted to marry her then and there.

As we grew up together she was very cruel to me, hateful. We went out once or twice but just as friends. I am so very close to her mother and always spent time at their home. So we were always around one another. I was so afraid to tell her of my true feelings towards her because I thought I would push her away. Then I got to the point where she humiliated me in front of my friends and such that I was angry with her and just tried to stop loving her. It didn't work. She tried reaching out to me the night before I left for boot camp but I cut her down and tore her heart to pieces by choosing another girl. What a mistake. Well yesterday, April 10, 1999 she got married. I will always wonder "what if".