I've been friends with this wonderful guy for almost five years now, and apart from an initial attraction for him that I felt at the beginning, but never spoke of, that's all we've ever been. Friends.

But then, totally unexpectedly, he suddenly turns around one day and asks me why we never became more than friends. My first reaction was laughter that bordered on hysteria.

I thought that he was joking, but it still made me feel a little guilty because what for him must be a joke was actually a particularly favorite fantasy of mine not more than four years earlier.

So it came as a complete shock to me when I saw his hurt look and heard the words "I meant it, Emma". I'm ashamed to say that I didn't deal well with it. I think of all the things he could have turned to me and said, that was the least expected.

Anyway, to get to the point, I messed things up pretty bad. The one guy that I ever really liked and respected, may have even loved, and I kicked him out of my apartment. Almost literally.

Now he's moved without a warning and I can't get in touch with him. It's like he just disappeared. And it hurts, a lot.

I guess I just want to say that if you're reading this, Joseph, I'm sorry.