The Dreaded Girdle by Alastair Adamson
Over every land and sea, I have walked a plenty;
And despite my misadventures, I was ever brave.
Yes, over every land and sea I have walked a plenty;
And searched and searched for the proof of my early grave.

In my early days, I searched for my Rose-Marie.
I knew that I had to start before I lost my sight;
That very day I did set out to cross the Northern Sea,
Fingers longing to caress her skin so soft and white.

Over every land and sea, I have walked a plenty;
And despite my misadventures, I was ever brave.
Yes, over every land and sea I have walked a plenty,
And searched and searched for the proof of my early grave.

I remember when we danced in the vernal wood,
Daisied hair and stormy eye, scarlet was her kirtle.
We danced until the moon and stars rose over Holyrood,
And in the vernal wood I found, she wore an iron girdle.

Over every land and sea, I have walked a plenty;
And despite my misadventures, I was ever brave.
Yes, over every land and sea I have walked a plenty,
And searched and searched for the proof of my early grave.

At this new discovery I lost my loving spirit,
With my hopes and all my dreams dashed upon her girdle.
I... felt my passion dim and fade; her side I soon did quit.
Her skin once was soft as milk, but now that milk has curdled.

Over every land and sea, I did walked a plenty;
And despite my misadventures, I was never brave.
Yes, over every land and sea I did walked a plenty,
And searched and searched then finally found proof of my early grave.
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Nothing is as surprising as the discovery of the Chastity Belt. Whoever invented that should be flogged, dipped in Gravy Train, and thrown to a pack of rabid poodles.


comments
bubble wow that was very cool id like to read it every day. - KATIE